I miss Randall

I'm sitting here just back from my hubby's company Christmas party a little inebriated and wondering if I should be writing at all. But perhaps it's best to write after a few glasses of red wine? As I was celebrating Christmas with wonderful people from all different walks of life, flashes of memories and thoughts kept flashing through my mind of a particular person in my past.

Randall R******n. Thoughts of him make my soul ache for so many reasons. Flashes of him have been dancing through my mind for the last week.

You see, I went to highschool with Randall. I remember him as a dear friend to me and my brother. He was one of very few African American kids in our little private school and I know that things were probably not that easy for him...so much racist crap to deal with those days...I can't imagine. I remember his father as being a very dignified professor and his mother as a perfectly quaffed elegant, beautiful and well spoken lady.

I miss Randall. I sort of wish I could call him and catch up and talk about all of the years that we lost touch. What we are doing in our lives and how we remember each other when we were young. But I can't. And I hate it and it really fucking sucks because Randall was murdered when he was 23.

Randall was working his way through and paying his dues as a manager of a Roy Rodgers restaurant in Philadelphia while going to school to become a chef. One day two adolescent criminals came into the store around closing or opening (I'm not really sure) and demanded money from the safe. Randall paid them and then took off running into the parking lot of the store. (Randall was an amazing athlete and could run like the wind. I know because I watched so many times when he played soccar with my brother for the highschool team). My dear friend was chased by these two fucking thugs and beaten to death with a lead pipe in the parking lot. I can only hope that he did not suffer too much and that the knowledge of his young life fading away was a welcome rest from the violence overwhelming him at that moment.

My mother called to tell me the news of Randall's death in the early nineties. Was it 1992 or 93? I'm not sure. Another friend from highschool called my mother sobbing to tell her the news. I remember hearing it through the phone and feeling emotionally blocked and unable to cry. I wish I had cried and sobbed until it was all out of me, but I didn't. I'm crying right now. I'll probably cry about this the rest of my life.

Last year (Sept 2009) I was visiting home and ended up visiting a highschool friend that attended Randall's memorial service. She told me about it and who was there and what it was like. She told me how brave Randall's parents were and how they had such great faith that God was taking care of their son and that they would see him again. I envy that unquivering sort of compassionate faith because really, I mostly feel like beating the shit out of or killing the bastards that did this horrible thing. Randall was a good man and there are too few of those in the world.

I don't care how young the killers were and what their lives were like. A person can choose you know? A person can choose no matter how horrific their childhood and life circumstances were. There is a choice. I'm tired of aching for people whose lives were taken from them way too soon. I'm tired of excuses and rationales and reasons why people do these horrible things. There are so many that truly suffer that don't do the same awful things. So enough is enough. No more excuses. If you commit and adult crime, you get an adult consequence. PERIOD!

I'm sure the kids that took the life of my friend are alive and well and able to see their families. Maybe they are remorseful and maybe they're not, but they're alive. What about Randall whose memory remains alive only to those that knew and loved him? What about the path of Randall's life (had he lived) that will never be known because a couple of assholes chose to play god for a few moments, because they chose the easy way. The cruel way. The cowardly way.

It takes bravery to live one's life well and with integrity. Randall's life story begs me to ask if I'm living my life well? How do I conduct daily tasks, my business? What examples do I leave in the community? What examples do I leave for children in my community? I wonder all of these things... I cry often and I wonder...

Hoo Ha Facials and Other Wonders in the Wilds of Alaska

Actually the title of this blog isn't totally accurate. The 'wilds of Alaska' is really referring to the cool little city of Anchorage, starting point for the Ididorad sled dog races. Thankfully the air was crisp and cool and sunny for most of the week long journey, a very welcome occurrance for this Hawai`i girl caught in the last American frontier!

In all honesty the place felt a bit gamey to me because one of our travel companions confronted a black bear and a family of moose on a bike path in the city. I asked one of the cab drivers if this was a normal occurrance and he said, "Yeah. Pretty normal. The mayor said to make sure you're prepared, which basically means shoot the bear if it comes after you." Hhhhhmmmmm...always packing...I felt a little whimpy and subdued after hearing this. I also felt a little subdued and just plain old TIRED after the cab guy tried to coax me out of more tip money then he was worth. I've learned that with cab drivers the world over there is always a story about the person just trying to make ends meat so that he/she can pay for the family's dental work or surgery or newborn's first set of shots. I get disappointed these days if I don't hear a good story from the cabby. My tip increases with the more creative story lines. LOL!

My hubby was in Alaska on business and I went along for a much needed vacation. So I decided to treat myself to some different bodywork therapies. My first stop was Beverly Sorenson's place for some PMS acupuncture and Mayan abdominal massage. Bev is an acupunturist and owns the cutest little clinic in dowtown Anchorage called Points to Health, LLC. The appointment started with a REALLY thorough intake process and was professional from beginning to end. I felt really well cared for and much better after the session.

The Arvigo techniques of Mayan abdominal massage focuses on repositioning organs that have dropped (a uterus is a good example) or are cutting off circulation, lymphatic flow and chi to parts of the abdomen. You can go to http://arvigomassage.com/displacement_symptoms.php. to check out the list of organ dropping symptoms if you like. I figured my uterus could use a little 'lift' given the amount of time I've been alive. It seems to me that mayan uteran massage is sort of cosmetic surgery without the surgery. I mean whose uterus doesn't get tired and start to droop after a while, right girls?

I think one of the coolest parts of the session was the self care portion. Bev showed me how to massage my own abdomen and gave me a take home hand out for reference. I also received a handout on vaginal steaming (Bajos - pronounced ba-hoes). Evidently this steaming, in conjunction with mayan abdominal massage assists with cleansing and treating the uterus for a number of ailments. Bev told me that it was very relaxing and that it was like a facial for my hoo ha. Well, I figured that steam feels pretty good on most other bodyparts, so why not the hoo ha, right? Next thing I know I have a wonderful blend of dried rose petals, lavender and calendula to add to the hoo ha facial experience. I haven't tried it yet, but I'll let you know how it goes!!

If you're ever in Anchorage Alaska be sure to check out Bev Sorenson's place! Also, stay tuned for my other Anchorage bodywork experiences - honey massages and colon hydrotherapy!

Beverley Sorenson L. Ac.

Points to Health

626 Cordova St

#103

Anchorage, Alaska 99501

907-222-3450

pth@gci.net

Sssshhhhhhhhhh....I'm Angry!!!

Oh I’m pissed. There’s really no other way to say it. I basically want to bonk people that annoy me over the head multiple times. Yes it’s true as the chi chick blogging reflectionist and a massage therapist with a clinic I’m supposed to say very healing things and talk about how bad negative feelings are. I’m supposed float above the emotional squalor of human living and enjoy the froo froo, new-agey ideas that I long for; that make me feel better at least for a few moments. But here’s the thing…no matter how many little ideas I come up with about how anger is a lower vibration that destroys things, I STILL want to bonk people over the head!!! So, there it is…

When I look a bit deeper though I think about what’s been going on and it’s been quite a lot. I think of so many friends that have died…in the war in Iraq…in their homes… dying painfully of difficult diseases…all of sudden with no time to emotionally prepare. I think of all of the passive aggression out there in the world, enacted on me and others. As adults we may not literally hit people anymore but we sure do make people suffer emotionally. We want what we want when we want it and we will behave emotionally violently in order to get it. We’ll manipulate and thug and push people around and get hostile if we can’t manipulate them. And if that doesn’t work we enlist a bit of social censure and good old fashioned shame and judgment to boost our unspoken cause. So, we live in a world of quietly hostile, controlling people that are angry and frustrated and feeling enacted upon or we are the one who enacts.

One thing I do know is that the anger I’ve been feeling lately comes from things that are not mine to control. I can’t control when people die of if someone decides to be manipulative, passive-aggressive or judgmental towards me or whatever. I know I can’t control these things yet I still feel anger and I still relish the thought of bonking people over the head!! So, what do I do? Should I sublimate my feelings? Nah…that just makes the anger come out sideways and the next thing you know I’ll be running into the streets hitting telephone poles with sledge hammers wearing nothing but an old tattered garbage bag!!

What really works for me when I’m pissed is SOUND. Not just music (although I do think music is the great healer, a salve for the soul), but the Taoist six healing sounds and yes, there is a sound for anger. Chi gong practitioners have been using this sound for millennia to cool down anger’s heated emotional sting. The humorous rule of thumb is that if you’re really angry and perform this sound 30 times, and you’re still angry, then you can punch someone in the nose!

Exercise:
The exercise goes like this and is best to do when steeped in hostility and/or before going to bed at night. Sit on a chair with your feet placed firmly on the floor and your back straight. Raise your arms above your head and intertwine your fingers. Take in a deep diaphragmatic breath and as you exhale, let the sound “SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” come from deep within. Make sure the sound works for you and contains all of the angry angst you can muster! At the same time that the sound is releasing, Turn the palms of your intertwined hands away from you and press your palms towards ceiling. Perform this sound daily no fewer than three times and you’ll see a change in your hostility. Aaaahhhhhhh what a feeling!
Hey, I know you’re angry…so sssshhhhhhh…..

If

It is often when I move from one home to another that I uncover treasures that I forgot were there. Sometimes it's something hurredly written on a scrap of paper, sometimes a sketch or a photograph, or the old embroidered tablecloth that my grandmother gave me years before she passed on.

When I find this little epihphany in a moving box my response to it is usually visceral. My gut flutters and grips, my heart beat speeds up. Memories and emotions flash through my mind and body transporting me to another time and place. It never ceases to amaze me how a latent emotion held in the body for years, stuffed and ignored, is always felt in the now. It comes up fresh and raw and present.

Today while unpacking a five year old storage box I came across a poem torn from a book. I remember this poem bringing me much comfort and support and relief years ago. And today, it was a blessing to find! This poem reminds me that I'm not alone in this human condition and that, while others don't always behave well, I can still keep my center and choose a different path - balance and detatchment and determination...

I hope you enjoy it too...

If -

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired of waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look to good or talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools'

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch - and - toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings - nor loose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be [my daughter and son!]

- Rudyard Kipling

*** I edited the last line to make it more acessible to both sexes.

Upcoming Events and Advertising for Amy's Haven Massage Therapy.

So many exciting events and advertising opportunities happening at Amy's Haven Massage Therapy this Holiday Season!!!

First, Food Drive! Amy's Haven Massage Therapy is joining with Hawai`i Food Bank to help feed Hawai`i's hungry. For every $5 in canned goods that you bring into The Haven you can enter your name into a drawing for a free massage package!!! Make sure to call first before bringing your canned goods! Prize drawing on December 15th!!! 808-951-5959.

Second, working with families of deployed military! Amy's Haven Massage Therapy is joining with Hawaiian Tel Federal Credit Union and participating in 'Operation Best Wishes.' On Tuesday November 24th, Amy's Haven will help de-stress the families of our service men and women as they come to Schofield Barracks and make customized video greetings for deployed loved ones.

Third, TV advertising!!!! The BBB selected Amy's Haven Massage Therapy for their Fall 2009 TV Campaign!!! From November 30th thru December 6th the BBB will advertise businesses that the the public can trust (KITV-ABC Channel 4). Look for us on Hawai`i's Channel 4!! Ad spots will occur on the KITV morning and evening news, Good Morning America, The View, Dr. OZ and Ellen!!! Keep an eye out for us that week!!!

Fourth, Print Advertising!!! Amy's Haven Massage Therapy will be in the Honolulu Star Bulletin's 2009 MidWeek Holiday Guide from December 2nd to December 23rd!!! Be sure to find the Amy's Haven Massage Therapy ad and holiday discount!!!

I also want to take this time to thank each and every one of you. If it was not for your support and trust, Amy's Haven Massage Therapy would not be possible.

Mahalo Nui Loa and be well this holiday season!

Massage and H1N1 (Swine Flu)

Hey Guys! Just a few words about massage and H1N1 (Swine Flu) virus before the flu season is entirely upon us. As many of you know, we do work with pregnant moms and people with ‘at risk’ health conditions. With some simple precautions all of us can avoid getting or spreading this virus, so don’t be afraid or panicked.

First, DO NOT come in for massage treatment if you have the following symptoms:
Fever
Cough
sore throat
runny or stuffy nose
body aches
headache
chills
fatigue
Some may have vomiting and diarrhea.
Some have respiratory symptoms without a fever.

Should you have the flu, please inform Amy’s Haven Massage Therapy and the 24 hour cancellation policy will be waived for the duration of your illness.


Second, on the occasion that you may contract H1N1, please schedule a massage no earlier then 3 DAYS after your fever has broken.

People infected with 2009 H1N1 flu shed virus and may be able to infect others from 1 day before getting sick to 5 to 7 days after. This can be longer in some people, especially children and people with weakened immune systems and in people infected with the new H1N1 virus.

Third, wash, wash, wash your hands multiple times throughout the day!!! Wash with warm water and soap for at least 20 seconds.

Coughing and sneezing spread the virus as well as touching a contaminated surface (ex. Table top, door handle, chair) and then touching your eye, nose or mouth.

I wash my hands before and after working with clients and I often spritz with an essential oil solution that I have found effective. This solution will NOT cure or prevent infection, but the essential oils do have antiviral properties that help.

Here’s the recipe: 1 part rubbing alcohol and one 1 part witch hazel to 2 parts tap water. Then put in 10 drops per ounze of each essential oil: Lavender, Eucalyptus, Tea tree. Shake the bottle well, and spritz to your hearts content.

Finally, ‘at risk’ populations include:

· Children younger than 5, but especially children younger than 2 years old
· Adults 65 years of age and older
· Pregnant women
· People who have:
o Cancer
o Blood disorders (including sickle cell disease)
o Chronic lung disease [such as asthma or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)]
o Diabetes
o Heart disease
o Kidney disorders
o Liver disorders
o Neurological disorders (such as epilepsy, cerebral palsy, brain or spinal cord injuries, moderate to profound intellectual disability [mental retardation] or developmental delay)
o Neuromuscular disorders (such as muscular dystrophy and multiple sclerosis)
o Weakened immune systems (such as people with HIV or AIDS or who are on medications that weaken the immune system )

Thank you for helping me make Amy's Haven Massage Therapy a healthier and happier place to be!

For more information please go to the CDC (Center for Disease Control) web site at http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/general_info.htm

Just Breathe!!!!!

Breath. Sustaining, life-giving, energizing, cleansing, fulfilling breath!!! We need it to oxygenate the blood. When breath flows through vocal chords we use it to sing and speak. We communicate what’s going on inside of us and we use it to let people know who we really are, bits of our soul. Slow breath calms. Fast breath stimulates. As we take in air, our diaphragm moves up and down massaging the internal organs. The diaphragm engages and relaxes as our lungs expand and contract.

When feeling an emotion the breath tells us before anything else. When there is indecision the breath waffles a bit. When someone holds back heaps of verbal bile, the breath holds too. The breath releases when there is a shift in a person’s consciousness or experience. Breath changes when we feel physical and emotional pain. Breath never lies, and no breath is exactly the same.

Breath is our direct connection with our environment and all that lies outside of our physical selves. We take in part of the external environment into our bodies and we expel what we don’t need into the outside world. This relationship with our environment is intimate and deserves respect.

Breath mirrors. This connection with the outside world also includes our interactions with others. When someone is experiencing grief in front of us our breath hastens with theirs. Likewise, we mirror in our breath those expressing anger or physical suffering. When we watch an infant’s breath while sleeping we immediately relax our own breath a bit. Imagine if we tried to match another’s breathing when we greet? Just allowing our breath to entrain with theirs? What would happen?

The way we breathe expresses the way we feel. The deepest, richest breaths help us fully feel our human emotional experience. Shallow breaths keep us from knowing our emotional, physical and spiritual selves. Breathing deeply and fully lifts depression and helps us integrate qualities such as courage and honesty. Perhaps this is why so many spiritual and religious traditions involve focusing on breath in meditation or prayer? Even chanting involves how we experience breath.

What I do everyday in my office is work on necks and shoulders and chests that are hypertonic and tense from shallow, stressed-out chest breathing. Most of us don’t want to feel our hardened, busy-ness laden lives, either. We are harsh towards others and they are harsh towards us and we don’t want to feel this and reflect as we go through our frenetic, consuming lives.

Toddlers are the ones that have this whole breathing thing down. When we watch toddlers run around and play they take really relaxed breaths into their bellies. You don’t see a toddler walking around with tense uptight shoulders and only breathing into their chests and trying to hold their stomachs flat……….. THEY JUST BREATHE!